tings charriissa ♥

Thursday, April 30, 2009 / 3:34 PM

COURTESY OF http://hoperepublic.wordpress.com/

Hello everyone,

Just thought I’d share what exactly happened during the girls’ MCG just this past Monday so that you can gasp and be thrilled by God’s faithfulness.

Monday some of us year 3 kids met for lunch, and the girls went to pray for a successful mcg later in the day. We also prayed for Ting Ting, one of the in-charge as she was feeling unwell that day.

About four in the afternoon, Ting Ting and I were conversing on internet about the lack of attendees at the meet up point at Koufu. We were still having class and were depending on the rest to gather and relac jack first.

We were getting worried.

I went over to Sports Hall after my class ended but discovered I was the only Hope around. Called up Paulie, the other in-charge and she said everyone was coming in.

Blessing No. 1: When the people streamed in, they streamed in. There were many many unfamiliar faces. I was pretty surprised and shocked. In a good way of course.

We had booked the badminton courts to play ball, which was weird given that many others were around. However outside was about to rain first.

I went out with Shareen and we prayed 1) MCG to be successful 2) God to stop the rain. We decided to just whack, and to change location to the basketball court.

But when Emily and I went to the courts, it was all taken. The rain alarm was sounding. Only one tennis court was left unlocked. We debated for awhile before deciding to just whack.

Pauline later told us that the courts was for the tennis IG that day.

Blessing No. 2: Tennis Courts were booked by the IG but the IG was not using it that day. Thus we had a location, and we would not be kicked out.

The people streamed in again. We started our games. The sky was pretty grey.

At the end of the day:

Prayer Answered No. 1: The sky cleared, and it did not rain

Prayer Answered No. 2: The MCG was a success.

I wanna take this chance to thank everyone! for all your efforts, and many many thanks to the guys coming in last minute when Michelle called to say there were two guy visitors. Also, thanks for taking initiative in talking to them!

All in all, I’m proud to be in Hope RP and now I know better my Father’s loyalty to the people He loves.

FROM WEITING! (:

/ 1:15 AM

YOU ARE FAITHFUL! (:

this post came in two days later, but i do still wana blog about it (:
God has been really faithful to my caregroup...
we had MCG on monday and it was quite a successful one! (:

i truely believe with all my heart that it's successful because we prayed.
weiting, melissa, ruth and i prayed for the mcg in our lunck break, we prayed that it will not be screwed up, especially by ME. hahaha (:
after which, weiting and shareen prayed for the rain to stop as it started to drizzle.

what happen was that, we actually booked a court (which i forgot which one), but they were loads of people using it.
so we decided to use the tennis court becuase it wasn't lock.
if you guys know, the tennis court is usually lock, and if it is not lock, it simply means that someone has booked it.
yuqian did mention that the tennis IG people will be using the court for practise.
hahaha, we heck care and just use it.
and guess what?
we had the court on our own all the way till we finish the whole MCG!!
heard that the tennis IG people booked the court but end up not using it.
did i mention that the drizzle stop as well?
HAHAHA.
the weather was so good mann, no scorching sun, no rain, everything's fine! (:

God is very tangible in this MCG.
i am not saying that He is not in other settings or something.
but through this MCG, i can experience first hand about how faithful He is to us (:
first, it was the weather.
second, the miracle of tennis court.
third, we did well and thus, the visitors enjoyed themselves alot!!
we had 17 visitors in total (:
personally, i had six (:
hahaha, God is really faithful cause i prayed for five, and He gave me one more (:
yeahhh (:

seriously, i know that it's never us, but it's God. (:
we did do our humanly best but without His power, we can't accomplish anything great as well.
thank you Lord!! xD xD xD
HEY PEOPLE, PRAYERS (INDEED) DO WONDERS! (:

praying that all these won't just stop here.
i am really anticipating to see converts (:
good and sincere converts. (:

thank you everyone for working hard as well (:

Monday, April 27, 2009 / 12:06 AM

ROMANS 7 : 15

15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

paul said that in the bible.
oh well, this verse has been appearing for a few times recently.
what paul said is very true, isn't it?

actually it's an emotional torment to do what you know you should not do and not to do what you should do.
you'll feel lousy about yourself, you will feel as if you are the worse kind of creature on earth.
oh well, that's provided that your heart is still soften before God.
if your heart is already harden, then i guess that you have already forgotten how it feels to hurt God.

yes, what i want to do, i do not do.
what i hate to do, i do.
what i should do, i do not do.
what i should not do, i do.
what a sucker, right?
haha.

okay, trust me...
with this, it's more than enough to torture me in the inside.

---
MCG tmr!
kinda nevious, yo!
so afriad that i will screw things up.
hahahaha.
currently i have three confirm visitors! (:
my goal is five, so pray that they will bring their friends too.
heard that the whole MCG have more then ten visitors (:
oh, did i mention that my contacts asked me if there's CE points distributed if they come?
HAHAHAHAHA, but thank God they are still willing to come after i told them there is no CE points given. (:
praise God!
pray that no PS-ing tmr kay!
no rains and everything will be smooth and wonderful!
hohoho.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 / 10:35 PM

THE UTMOST NEED(S), OF ALL.

only God can meet your needs.
your inmost needs, your innermost desire.
He understands you through and through.
He knows what you want exactly, and also what you cannot want.
He can tolerate all kinds of nonsense, try testing His patience, and you will realise that there is no one that treasures you more than Him.

God created us to love, and to be loved.
that's why it's not surprising that everyone's searching for this loooovvvveeee thingy.
some perceive love as discipline; discipline cause they care.
some perceive love as good feeling; love is in the air, yeah?
some perceive love as having companionship.
the list goes on and on...
you can search and search, but you will realise that you can never be satisfied.

many experienced God's love, but still choose to forsake it and find one on their own.
hah, don't you people know that you can search for all eternity long, and you can never find one that can truely satisfy your utmost need of love.
because there is simply none like God.

no one loves me like you do.
God, people will indeed fail me, but you never will.
so, this is how it feels like to be heart broken.
i shattered your heart,
in turn, i shattered other's too.
and i got mine shattered as well.
i can almost imagine that you are fixing my broken heart for me.
why are you so gracious Lord, i deserved all these pains.
if i have not broken yours, i wouldn't have mine broken.
and there you are, fixing the one who murdered your son, the one who pierce your heart, again and again.
thank you.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009 / 4:08 PM

OH HOW I LONG...

two birds were locked in a small cage.
they doesn't have freedom, they can't even catch their breath well.
they took great measures just to gain their freedom.
they sacrificed their loved ones, had their ego crashed, they even turned down their callings.
two choices laid before them; freedom or calling?
they chose freedom.
the two birds were then released.
they left behind everything cause they can't bring anything with them and they flew away.
they aren't exactly happy cause they know it deeply that what they left behind are something really precious to them.
wiped their tears and moved on in life.
just when they thought they are really set free, later did they realised that they are actually flying into a bigger cage.
once again, locked; freedom lost.
the difference is, the cage is slightly bigger this time round.
more space to fly around, technically, they have more freedom in the second cage as compared to the first one.
yeah, so what?
a cage is still a cage, am i not right?
and to make things worse, the bigger cage has nothing they love, has nothing they treasure, but there is surly a calling for them too.
but they wonder to themselves, why the hell did they hate that so called calling?
it doesn't seem appealing to them anymore.
you might be wondering, so did the two birds regret their decision?
haha, oh well... i don't think so, yo!
they miss what they have left behind but never regreted their decision.
not because they are not remorseful, but because they did use their bird brains to consider the matter, knowing what they are doing.
they just craves for THE sky, where they can fly without restrictions.
they are unhappy in the larger cage, but they felt satisfied and loved though.
but the two birds know clearly that they will forever belong to a cage.
because if they were given the sky, they might forget how to go home; a home where they'll find true love and warmth.

---

流星雨 is in my handphone's playlist.
okay, don't laugh at me, i know this is one old school song.
HAHA.
it played when i was on my way to school.
hahaha, memories just flashes across my head.
i saw christine acting vaness, swaying her finger and turning her head around.
i saw jency enjoying herself as she sings...
i saw dewen holding the lyrics cause he didnt memorise.
i hear laughters around.
sigh, i thought all these were really insignificant to me, until i've them flashing across my head.
such diminutive acts actually became one significant memory for me.
i don't call this dwelling in the past, i call this reminiscing.
HAHA.
indulging in reminiscence, yo!
nah.

i love what i have now, i just miss my family.
i once had love and warmth surrounding me, just a little twist and i'll see familiar faces.
now, everything's new, everything's unfamiliar.
it's so cold that i really miss the warmth that i took it for granted sometime ago.

but.
today, i am so thankful that i moved on.
because Hope Rp REALLY brings warmth and comfort in this cold and lonely school.
i have 10 contacts to sow on now.
have 5 unconfirms for mcg, so pray for me, yo!
haha, maybe the sec three evengelistic monster is coming back, hey.
with God's grace, of course. (:

Sunday, April 19, 2009 / 11:56 PM

MONDAY'S BLUE

ting is starting school tomorrow!
ting is starting school tomorrow!
TING IS STARTING SCHOOL TOMORROW!!!
ting doesn't like schooling ):
ROAR!

it has been THREE months since i had monday's blue.
hahahaha.
time always fly like nobody's business when it's holidays.
but when it come to school days, time will frezze for no reason.
another SIX weeks of school before my TWO weeks holidays.
the funny thing is, six weeks of school sound like hell long to me when twelve weeks of holidays are like... SHORT!
hahahahaha!

i am wondering...
how many people out there are having monday's blue like me now??
all poly students have to start school tommorrow...
oh mann.
one more year, just one more year. (:

Saturday, April 18, 2009 / 1:32 AM

THERE'S ALWAYS A PRICE TO PAY.

what's the toughest thing that you have given up for God's sake?
what's the toughest decision you have made just to please God?

i have my very own set of story.
hah, everything's so cliche, everything's so unreal.
honestly speaking, i did it reluctantly.
but yet, i know... nothing is more important than God and our being.

pain, thats what i feel now.
maybe lonely as well?
because i know that no one can go though this together with me.
because i know that i am losing my precious one.
Lord, i can say with all my guts, i have never, NEVER been in such torment before.
i swear.
and i know, you are no better off than me. )':

haha, i used to council people, used to teach people.
telling them to give up this and that.
i do know it's tough and stuff.
but now, it's my turn to go through what they are going through.
what an irony.
but when i got over it, you morons (no offence xP) don't come to me and said that you can't give up blah blah blah.
i gave up something that's the most important to me.
if i can, i believe you can do it too.

heal us, emotionally.
please.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009 / 12:47 AM

I CAN'T ESCAPE

i know that i can never escape God's plan.
since human seeks approval, since there's no way to strongly reject.
since there is nothing much i can do now and since i dare not go the hard way to argue.
then why am i still not letting go?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009 / 2:20 AM

SUPER DAD? SURELY NOT!

i have a dad that commands around and yet does nothing.
he will scold us for putting the shocks into the washing machine with the rest of the clothes.
he will also nag at us when we forgot to off the heater, lights or anything electrical.
BUT, he always forgot to off his heater too.
he will be angry if we do not clean the table after eating, but he forgot to do so too.
my dad forgot to buy eggs and cheese after three times of reminders.
he doesnt inform us when he'll go overseas and refuse to tell us what time he is coming home if we ask, that's because he fear that we would bring friends home.
i guess, he has the phobia of us bringing guest home.
my dad still owes me 15 bucks.
oh, my dad loves to use my soft toys to disturb me!
sometimes, he will hang them on the fan, sometimes, he will make them face the door, as if they are waiting for me to come home when i open the door.
my dad often organise family dinner too.
and he loves to dine at new places with good food.

hahahaha, there won't be an end when it comes to this dad of mine.
lol, i think he is amuzing, at times.

---

oh well, i am sick again ):
i had fever when i woke up just now but i am glad that it has subsided now (:
still feeling uncomfy though.

wow, i realised that people love to send long emails mann!
my mind's already shut down when i am halfway through the mail.
lol.
i know i have many to do, but i simply don't feel like doing anything mann.
so, i shall do them tmr, i hope! (:

---

if you were to ask me what do i want the most now...
i would answer freedom.
and maybe money? HAHA.
why freedom?
haha, cause i felt so chained now.
i can't find any better word to describe what i feel.
there are many pairs of eyes fixing on me.
i wished that i can do whatever i like in wherever i love to.
but i know this is a foolish thought.

i just simply hate that kind of life where we must live in people's approval.
i wonder why do people fear or concern so much about how people look at them.
why do people wants to always protray the best image to others when they are actually not what they protrayed?
other people's judgement are that important?
is this people pleaser or what?
or... face's skin too thin?
actually, both you and i knows clearly that there is no way to escape all these.
no matter you like it or not, we still can't avoid the fact that we do live for others.
we can't simply do what we want and ignore the people around us.
we can't live as if there is no one else in this face of the earth, we have to consider how other's feel as well, right?
the list can goes on and on... that's why, i said that we are indeed living for others.
that's annoying -.-"

---

school's reopening soon!
real soon! ):
i am far, far, far from any positive feelings.
nah, ting doesnt like school life.
i bet this is nothing fresh for you mann.
i ain't looking forward, not a single bit.
my LOOOONGGG holidays are finally over. roarr.

Thursday, April 9, 2009 / 1:28 AM

THE AMAZING FOUR LETTERS WORD.

LOVE (:

love is both give and take.
you ought to not only enjoy love, but also learn how to give without expecting any returns (:
so, you ought to be both the receiver and the giver (:

if your love (you) possess only one extreme, then you are actually possessing one transient love.

i want to learn how to give more. (:

---

my heart beats double when i thought of inviting both my parents to the Easter service this coming sunday.
if you guys know, my mum and my dad can't meet, i can't imagine the consequences mann!
so, i asked aaron to bring mummy and i shall bring my dad.
and make sure they don't see one another.
hahaha, but guess what.
aaron told me that he doesnt want to go.
so ENCOURAGING right?
never mind, i shall pin hope on eugene instead. =P
jit-jit-jittery!!
pray that my parents will give the green light mann.
cause i felt that the theme of this Easter suits them a lot.
they are the king and queen of bitterness mann!
i really really (times one million) wants my dad and mum to know God!!!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009 / 3:15 PM

TWENTY-ONE

this is not the first time that i felt scared by the fact that i am turning twentyone soon.
haha.
when i look to my future, i felt that i still have a long long way to go.
but when i look back, i'm supprised that i had actually went through much.
it seem forever for the clock to finish twentyfour hours when it ticks second by second.
but why is it so amazing that i have actually went through many many many twentyfour hours without noticing that i have already spent twentyone years away?
haha, guess what, my parents are already parents when they were my age.

i have done loads of catch ups for the past few weeks.
and yes, i have more to come!
i met some of my secondary school classmates, some of my old friends etc.
i realised that there are many of my friends, which are of the same age as me are really different from me.
their lifestyle, their stages of life etc.
i ponder and ponder about it, am i being too lagged behind?
when i meet them, i felt as if i am a kid! ):
but to think about it, twentyone doesnt mean i have to club, i have to makeup, grow long hair etc, right?
hahahaha.

this is so true.
that's because i have been mixing too much with people who are still in their teens and not the people of my age.
hahaha, i guess i should start hanging out more with the people of my age and stop being a frog in the well.
but yeah, i actually do prefer the way i am now though (:
my looks and my size doesn't look like my age, but i seriously hope that my inner being will not behave like a kid, i do hope that i behave like my age, or SLIGHTLY younger.
frankly speaking, given my size and look, no matter how i dress, i still won't look mature one lar. (:
hey, you guys can say that i don't look like my age cause i am small in size and my face look younger.
but please do not insult me by telling me i am childish and i behave like a kid.
because people tend to associate my physical appearance with my inner being.
hahaha, i know i am not there yet lar, but just don't insult me (:

i can actually watch R21 in a few months time.
but yet people still checked on me when i watch NC16's show.
not once, but twice.
first, i have to show my IC when i buy the tickets.
then, when i walk into the theater, the ticket boy/girl will stop me and check my IC once again.
haha, see my point?

everyone is busy planning their twentyfirst birthday and i am totally clueless if i should make it big like they do.
i am someone who doesn't like big crowds, but i am so afriad that i will regret for not putting effort in my twentyfirst birthday.
cause twenty-first is like a hoo-haa in our lives right?

and school is reopening soon.
oh dear, i haven't learn driving which i said i wanted to in this holiday.
i am such a slacker ):
i am already started thinking what i want to do after my graduation.
oh well, do pray for me for clear directions in life mann.
but one thing for sure is that, i want to get rid of this retarded poly life ASAP.
finish my year three and all the spastic fyps and be done with it.
one more year, just one more year.
i guess, next year this time, i might be the happiest woman on earth. (:

Sunday, April 5, 2009 / 1:19 AM

THENCEFORTH

hello world...
ting is (almost) sick now.
having sorethroat and i am uttery tired.
to make things worse, i am having district family day tomorrow, i wonder if i can actually survive through it.
hohoho. xD

ting went to the west 2nd anniversary today.
joined the first service too!! (:
oh mann, i was really really really anticipating to this day! xD
frankly speaking, i felt a bit odd and awkward.
but on the other hand, warmth ; it's as if i am back home.
everything's moving on in an exceedingly fast pace...
i am just a month away and i actually felt really different.
i then realised that i am actually moving on in a real fast speed too.

those tears when i just left are already dried.
i long ago accepted and come to terms with it that i can no longer serve with my beloveds.
i am adapting to my new group, with in mind clearly that i am now serving God in different roles, capascity and scope of influences.
however, when i see the westlanders, my beloved west b and my ex-dmm...
i can't help but to have this (secret) desire to serve God with them again.
serving God with all of them is the most highlighted memories i had.
because i (still) felt that this is my family, this is where i belong.
it has been such a long time that i felt the way i felt today.
and to think back, serving with them is such a joy.
i really miss the previous UL of west b, miss the previous cg member of west dmm.

when i saw the drawings of yunian's card for me...
i was reminded of many many things.
hahaha, now that i do not have them serving alongside with me, i kinda feel pretty much alone.
words cannot really voice out everything that i wanted to say.
but yeah, what to do? i am the one that choses to leave this community that i love so much.
i guess, the pain of making this decision will follow me wherever i go.
i regretted, but i am also glad.
just a little mixture of both. =D

however, i am getting myself ready to win my school mann! (:
i thank God for placing me in such wonderful community (:
i can really say that this community offers me the most condusive environment for me to start afresh.
i can say with all my guts that hope RP is the most loving community that i have ever been.
seriously, i have never been in such bonded, loving and happening group! (:
i am really proud to be part of hope RP. =D
i really hope that i can bring my parents and brother down to the easter service this coming sunday.
and i am hoping to see my own converts after the freshman orientation outreach (:
sound both scary and exciting to me! (:

---

many people told me that they really pity Jesus.
especially after watching the passion of the christ, people will tend to think that Jesus is one poor guy that shed loads of bloods!
but i beg to differ.
Jesus ain't pitiful at all.
i felt that those people who felt that Jesus is very pitiful, doesn't really understand that Jesus actually knew what he was doing.
He knew what's coming BUT YET He still chose to went through it.
He is different from any other sacrificed lambs, cause those lambs doesnt even know why they are raptured, and before they know anything, they became food on the table.
yes, they are really pitiful, cause they are so helpless and innocent.
i agree that Jesus is indeed innocent, but his death is a choice made by himself.
He knows what it means to be crucified, He knows the pains.
which is more respecable?
dying without the knowledge of it or knowing everything and yet chosed death?
i respect Jesus deeply because knowing he will go through all these, he still chosed to obey.
HE IS THE TRUE HERO! XD

---
the truth is...
there are just so many people on this face of the earth fear mankinds more than the one they should really fear.

and the other truth is...
you can't run or hide.
because your sins will just find you out one day.
even you have successfully hiden your sins, God will not let you off.
He will make many arrangements in such a way that you have no choice but to make a decision, a tough and painful decision.
sometimes, it does really seem that He is playing a prank on us, mankind.

---

okay if you manage to read till here, i congrats you!
because you are really one patient person who bothers to read such long post.
hahahaha.
good night world! (my eye lid weigh a ton now)

Friday, April 3, 2009 / 1:58 AM

IN A JIFFY...

hey people, do link me up soon yeah.
cause i seriously feel like changing my MSN sub nick already.
HAHAHA!! (:
thank you people. (90degree thanksgiving bow)

you may find this ridiculous, but yeah.
my anxiety has transformed into joy (:
in such short time.
not moodswing, if you wonder.
it's just that things turn from the downside up expeditiously. :D

alrights, i will update more tomorrow, i hope (:
cause i have to turn in like.... now.
have to wake up at 7am for my final year projoect thingy.
guess how reluctant i am?
oh well, no prize for guessing such no brainer question right.

hohoho...
good night, world (:

Thursday, April 2, 2009 / 1:42 AM

IMPERFECT LOVE

i no longer knows how to voice my thoughts.
i no longer knows how.

or... i have given up voicing them out?

i came to fully comprehend the agony of not being understood.
the frustration of thoughts not voiced.
the pain of bottling things up.
and the worse of the worse, voiced but not heard.