BEAR WITH ME, FOR A LITTLE WHILE MORE.
Monday, March 29, 2010 / 12:54 AM
some people on this planet earth doesn't seem to understand what it means to lose something precious in their lives.
they have no idea how it feels to be left behind clearing up the mess of all broken promises either.
they are completely ignorance that when they broke their promises, it's more than just a promise that's broken.
what about broken their hearts and lives too?
oh damn it, just one fine day they will reap the consequences and experience all this RAW.
would you feel like slapping that person if he or she told you that when that promise was made, they meant it but hey, sorry that i can't keep them.
imagine this with me, if i were to promise my boss that i will come to work and the next day disappear...
and i said that "hey i meant it when i said i am coming, but sorry i can't keep my words today."
OH NO WONDER EVERYWHERE AND EVERYTHING NEEDS A BLACK AND WHITE CONTRACT.
because there are too many losers, bitches and jerks that love to make empty promises.
hah please people, when you say words... use your brain to think..
are you going to be responsible of your words and deeds?
if not, hey please stand by and don't hurt people!
they can say things like as if it doesn't concern them and as if it is like a stroll in a park.
oh i can't help but to be angry why the hell they can treat what others view as damn important and serious this lightly?
argh, they just don't give a damn!
such irresponsible people doesn't deserve a good treatment from others!
because one fine day they are just going to walk out of your heart without giving a damn about how you would feel.
gosh, i am so completely turn off when i see "sorry that i have change", "sorry that i have to leave" sorry this and that.
they made it sound so okay and easy!
aren't you are hurt as well?
it's just like you wore a muddy shoe into my place, dirty my place and then walk out of my place without cleaning your mess and give me a smile and said "opppps sorry" and den shut the door.
pissed, isn't it?
that kind of "oh-too-bad" attitude really makes me regret of everything.
hah, it's so unfair!
oh crap.
i cant wait to change my number and do a spring cleaning in my phone.
wait, a spring cleaning in my heart too.
I WAS BLIND AND NOW I SEE.
damn it.
if one can walk out of your life like a stroll in a park...
it simply means that you meant NOTHING to them.
sometimes, beautiful words are just to either cover their own backside nicely or are just so that they won't hurt you.
they might not mean what they say,
take this as a warning.
---
i criticized people, my wrong.
think about it, if i am so critical about others, how much more i am critical about myself?
frankly, i am disgusted by myself.
disgusted by my thoughts and deeds.
talking about losers, bitches and jerks...
hahs, arrow are pointing towards me as well...
paul in the bible mentioned that he is the worse sinners of all.
haha, how is it possible when there is me?
probably because, when he said that...
i wasn't created yet.
---
God, only you can help me.
omg, i am so screwed up.
---
WOE TO ALL HEARTLESS PEOPLE.
WOE TO ALL LOSERS!
SO YOU WOULD COME
Sunday, March 28, 2010 / 12:09 AM
Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come
Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come
Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come
---
Dear Jesus,
i receive you into my life today,
come and be my Lord and my Saviour.
be my forgiver and
MAKE ME INTO THE KIND OF PERSON THAT YOU'VE CREATED ME TO BE.
come and be my friend and the leader of my life.
thank you and in Jesus' name i pray, AMEN!
COME HOME RUNNING.
Saturday, March 20, 2010 / 10:58 PM
Ever heard of the parable of the prodigal son?
there are three main characters in this parable; the father, the elder son and the younger son.
the question "do you want to be like the father or like the elder son" was posted today...
surely, i responded that i would not want to be like the elder son, never.
however, if i would to really choose...
i would want to be the younger son.
He screwed his life up.
He made mistakes and regretted.
but at least, he knows and made the decision to go back to his father.
he is undeserving but yet receive the full grace and forgiveness from his father.
there are people in life, making mistakes, suffering like mad but still stubbornly choose not to head back to where they should be; continuing leading life toward destruction.
so, as for me...
i must be like him, going back to my daddy in heaven and receive His grace and... repent. :)
ending my path towards destruction, putting a smile on His face.
---
Jesus Your Name
Is a shelter for the hurting
Your Name
Is a refuge the weak
Only Your Name
Can take the undeserving
Jesus Your Name
Holds everything I need
LOVE LIFE AND LIFE WILL LOVE YOU BACK.
Thursday, March 18, 2010 / 4:19 PM
yes! i am determined to love each day more than i am afraid of it!
there no need to deny that i was afraid of every brand new day...
but now, i am seriously learning to love my days and my life too.
my life is very screwed up, and who doesn't long to have a life that's ever pleasing?
nah, i have given up trying too hard to screw my life back in place and in order.
so, now.. i will just do what's within my control and leave the uncontrollable to my mighty God to handle! :)
all the persuasion and disappointed looks is not without effects on me.
i know my decision is not the best and i know i am not setting the right example.
most importantly, i know i will short change myself.
sigh, but i have really made up my mind that i would give this a miss.
it's really pointless as i am already moving on.
i am sorry to disappoint you guys and i hope that all persuasion will stop.
sorry T.T
hey friends!
i MIGHT be going Japan for a week at the end of this year!
hip hip hurray!
it's for staff retreat and kindergartens exchange!
i am so damn looking forward. HAHA.
i love the word "dedicated" alot.
and in meeting, the principal said "be a dedicated teacher for the children"
woah, my eyes sparkle and yes, i will be the dedicated one!
dedicated to God's will, a dedicated wife to my future husband, a dedicated friend to my friends, a dedicated teacher to my students and many more!
that's all that i wanna say!
i am off to watch drama now!
i am a lazy bum today! lol
IT'S MY LIFE.
Monday, March 15, 2010 / 1:28 AM
oh wells, i can't sleep for nuts when i have to wake up damn early tmr.
i feel kind of weird now.
and i know not why.
probably because i am too excited for tmr's first day of work?
or is my heart trying to play a prank on me again?
it's hard to interpret how you feel at times, because heart is a very deceitful and annoying thing.
i am entering into a new stage of life now!
i have many many things in mind that i wanna do!
but my cash doesn't allow me to do everything once and for all :(
first, i wanna get my itouch!
second, i wanna get my new phone!
third, i wanna learn driving!
forth, i wanna get a tattoo! i wanna tattoo "dedicated" on my back!
fifth, i wanna treat my important people to a meal!
sixth, i wanna SHOP!
last but not the least, i want to cultivate the habit of reading Christian literature and have my shepherding with Jesus regularly!
---
i have come to realised that people are made differently.
people express differently and people react differently.
but it doesn't mean that they don't care.
for so long, i have been depressed and angry over everything.
but yes, nothing positive will ever come out from overthinking.
for the nth time i am saying, i want freedom for all these entanglements.
i am getting back on track, bit by bit.
i cannot deny that i am still in pain, but i know... i must take responsible of my life.
i must not take everything too seriously and ending up inflicting pain to myself emotionally and mentally.
rawr. tings, you think too much and you should stop it!
i must lead my life separately from you, from now on.
sometimes, it's a no choice kind of affair to move on.
letting go is not always a willing choice.
but i have come to accept the fact that, it's impossible.
so... lead my life well and put a smile on God's face then!
it's my dream to be a simple christian that can bring blessings to the people around me. :)
yeah, jiayou tings!
PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY DOMO AWAY.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010 / 2:30 AM
nobody said that it would be always okay.
but it's just so unexpectedly painful when it happens.
healing is a process, a progressive process.
if you want to be healed, the worse taboo is to look back.
don't ever look back.
but if you really want to, do it only when you're fully recovered.
only when you have the ability to laugh at how foolish and silly you were.
it's statistically proven that most ex drugs addict will go back to their dirty cycle of addiction even after being released from the rehab center.
some even went in and out of the addiction over and over again although knowing the consequences full well.
dumbass played with fire and got her fingers' burnt.
her world once again, crashed.
now, she's heading back to her rehab center, again.
not coming out again, sigh.
maybe, maybe... if it's possible... she will face her drugs again and won't have to pack her bag back to rehab center. hopefully!
the world outside the mighty umbrella is lonely and scary.
indeed, being in such covering always beat any kind of worlds outside.
sometimes, to lose is to gain.
sigh, life's not easy.. not at all.
---
deleted all related photos.
mummy and mama can never be together, and so do cats and dogs.
it's predestined to close shop all the way from the begining.
1. tings charis
