tings charriissa ♥

Monday, June 29, 2009 / 2:29 AM

I CAN EAT YOU UP!

rahh, i am easily pissed nowadays.
and i don't know why!! ):
i hope it's not PMS.

oh well, i wonder who will be my sunshine to light up my days. (:
if you can't, my advice for you is then don't try xD
arghh.

and guess what, my lappy became a mute/dumb lappy!!
my speaker's spoil T.T
i hope that God will heal my poor lappy by tmr!!
hohoho. (:

monday's blue, again.

Saturday, June 27, 2009 / 2:50 AM

FAITH WITHOUT DEEDS

i wonder,
if there's anything commendable about when you have the thoughts but yet act nothing about it due to various reasons.
i doubt so.

i wonder,
if human beings know that sometimes they love only the intimacy, but not the person.
i doubt so.

i wonder,
by solely waiting for the right opportunity to cross your path but do nothing initiative on your part works.
i doubt so.

i wonder and i wonder...
i am ting in the wonderland.
hahaha! xD

Friday, June 26, 2009 / 4:00 PM

BEHIND CLOSED DOOR

i have no freaking idea what to blog about when i have actually so much, so much to say.
i guess, this is pretty common among all, isnt it? (:

this might come a little late, but yeah, last week, i celebrated mingshi's birthday! (:
oh mann, when i was 13 with that mushroom head, i didn't see myself celebrating 21st together!
seriously, this might sound cliche but time really wait for no one!!
i seriously enjoyed myself there...
had fun with her friends...
to think about it, i kinda miss those 2 days mann!
hahahaha. (:

---

alright, if you guys read one of my previous post...
i guess it's pretty obvious that i am upset or rather, angry with one jerk.
i thought i am no longer angry, but somehow, someone fan up my anger towards him again.
God, i want to forgive, i want to forgive !
however, there's a huge portion of me is very tempted to send him an email or sms to shoot him off.
but i shall put myself in control.. in control, in control... !

---

i wonder why guys can't even give some freaking respect to girls?
i guess, i am so much stronger than many girls...
but i think, no one will ever understand that kind of pain in me.
not one, but two.
i am already doubting the motives and intention of guys that wants to be my friends.
please, i need some sincerity, alright?
don't i, Ng Shi Ting have any attributes or qualities other than my body?
i know this sound so wrong, but i have no idea what other words i should use.
i want people to be attracted by what's inside me, not on the outside... you get it?

---

ting is already a shepherd!! (:
my dearest sheep is joanne ang, if you guys know who.
i know God has his plans for her to be my sheep.
IT'S AN IRONY, a serious irony.
hah, i can't help but to really acknowledge that it's God who is behind these all.

---

human's love always fail.
i am tired of all these.
i want to concentrate on God and his work.
to think about it, the happiest moment of my life are those times i almost pull my hair out of my head when the stats count is far from my fifty, when i drag my feet to that ulu bt panjang to meet my sheep, when i hold looonggg meetings to plan and plan, to nag and nag, to teach and teach.
hahahahaha, i love all these okay!
i am so going to do that in my hope rp (:

---

Nothing showing on the outside
Something's dying on the inside
I'm still broken but I'm free
I'll see you on the flipside

Wednesday, June 17, 2009 / 5:51 PM

HALLUCINATION

it feels like i am living in illusion now.
nothing seems real, nothing seems in the flesh.
everything is moving in such fast pace that i couldn't recall how i made it here, today.
somehow, i am hoping to get back into the reality world soon; though not every fiber of my soul really desires that.

double life's a torment, i say.
oh this is so tourtuing.

wake up, darling please wake up.
you have to move on in life, it's not as tough as you think.
sitting on the fence will drained you out badly, you will fall one day.
humpty dumpty fell off from the fence, one day you will, too.
God will spit the luke-warm out of His mouth, remember?
so cold or hot; kindly choose one, my friend. (:

we can never have the best of both worlds.
you will either compromise on one or the other side.
and one fine day, you will find yourself struggling like crazy.
before you realise, you are already so drained and fatigue.
you can only choose one world; the world you would treasure more, the world that you couldn't live without with. (:

Monday, June 15, 2009 / 2:11 AM

I AM SO WORRIED... ):

my tummy is getting bigger...
my arm is getting flabbier...
my face is getting rounder...
my double chin is getting obvious...
my tops and bottoms are getting tighter...

HOW?! ):
now you know why i am worried... (:

Thursday, June 11, 2009 / 2:18 AM

I KNOW WHY

do you know why is it so important to count your blessings?

because...
it's so easy to forgot the good and remember the bad.

i can spend the whole day happily but all i need is one unpleasent thing; my day will be concluded as bad.
i can spend my life joyfully with this person, but all i need is one disappointment; my memories of the good disappears while the bad follows me for life.

i thought i will bring a smile to sleep today.
but i am wrong.
if only my brains only register the good, and never the bad.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009 / 3:22 AM

TING LOVES YOU, NOT.

oh well, my monday was not that bad afterall. (:
i slept really little, cause i woke up really early for some school thing.
i almost use crawling to move my fat body to the bathroom.
yes, i slept for like.. 3 hours?

after my school thingy, i went to collect my pay with my friend.
and i rebonded my hair! xD
i seriously appreciate my friend's recommendation and company (:
went town after that and we literally laugh and laugh, laugh and laugh..
till we reach west.
hahahaha xD

ting is slightly sick (again).
cough and sore throat.
God bless (:

i will have a very pack week...
PC show took more than half of my week.
but i will earn money!!
hohoho.
and before i know, my two weeks holiday ended.
A BIG SIGH.

hey, do you people knows how it feels like when you really desire something, but you are afraid of your very own desire?
i really desire it, but i am afraid that God really give them to me.
how i wish i could say "your will be done" in a cool way.
but i just can't have my cool.
but no matter cool or uncool, JESUS, YOUR WILL BE DONE IN MY LIFE! (:

---

as much as i want to...
i want to be gentle in spirit.
but hais, God.. i am seriously angry and upset ):
i hate that sucker, to the core of my being.
the worse thing is, i did the right thing, and i got the punishment.
and he act as if he has done nothing wrong. wth.
i seriously hate this kind of stupid thing ):
God, you can judge right?
hah, i shall wait.

ting rocks, they say.
because ting deleted that bloody person from her phonebook, her msn and facebook.
i am so freaking determine to have that bloody person out of my life.
for God sake, for the kingdom sake and for MY sake.
ARGH...!
ting, in Jesus name, stop being so angry!
*no worries, both my shepherds knows about my anger and what exactly happens, and both of them are on my side*
(hey, if you are thinking along the line that i had bgr or any flirt and thus, wana get rid of that guy etc.. quit your thoughts cause it's not! i have better taste alright? have you guys heard of 做贼喊抓贼? [thief yelling catch thief])

yeah, ting rocks.
but Jesus rocks even more. (:

Friday, June 5, 2009 / 3:07 AM

ALL IN ONE POST

as stated in my title, i shall blog everything in one post.
i have a hunch that this might be a looonnnggg looonnnggg post. *wink*

now, as in literally now now, i am having a bad sorethroat.. ):
and i am SUPER (i bold, italic, underline and highlighted this word, enough emphasis?) reluctant to go for my career coaching and meet my friend tomorrow!! ):
not because i detest them, but ting is lazy and sick.
ROARR.

a few days ago, i was using addiction of drugs as a mataphor to an addiction to someone.
the thought just came across my mind and i started to ponder more about it.
and i realised that it has no difference, in terms of the consequences.
as all of us know, being addicted to something ain't a good thing. (unless you want to talk about God and stuff).
but yeah, generally, it is bad.

a person who is currently addicted on drugs felt the "high" feeling while they are consuming it.
they just couldn't stop popping it into their mouth as they are really addicted.
but to think about it, they always thought that they can't live without drugs, but the truth is, they can't live long if they don't stop consuming it.
as an outsider, we know that they are dumb not to go through cold turkey, we know that they are naive thinking that they NEED the drugs.
but they doesn't know, nothing at all.
but i bet that they know the side effects or rather, the consequences of consuming drugs better than us.
they know that it's harmful to their body, they even experience the pain.
but, they just couldn't stop it.
the only way to overcome this addiction is to go through cold turkey, to turn in and give it all up for the good sake.
and then, they can be free from this addiction; this is freedom.

in the same way...
being addicted to someone is the same.
yes, it sound sick to be addicted to someone... but it's really happening all around.
you simply can die without contacting that someone, you even can't breathe well when you don't see him/her.
it has become a habit to sms/call this person, it has become a routine to report whatever happens to you to this particular someone.
this person soon got the control over your emotions, he/she got the power to influence your decisions making.
you even might go to the extend of giving everything up just to please that someone.
this is addiction, my friend.
you thought that you cannot survive without this person, you thought that you need him/her.
you know very well what kind of damage you are bringing into yourself when you refuse to let go, but yet nothing has been done.
but hey, think about it...
isnt it the same as the addiction to drugs?
drugs addicts will always think that they need drugs to live on when we know clearly that they can actually move on with life happier without it, in the same way... it applies to addiction to someone!! (:

to give up someone or something that you are really addicted to...
it's not as hard as we imagine..
i hope so!
just be brave and choose to go through the cold turkey..
and you will be set free from your addiction; the freedom that you wanted most.

aren't you sick of being addicted to someone and your emotions will fluctuate like nobody's business?
i think, even before you are drown by your own tears, you are already dead from intense emotional fatigue.
hohoho.

but no worries okay?
i am doing good!!
i blog this up because it's purely my train of thoughts (:
don't read too much into it xD

recently, i have been catching up with my old friend.
it has been 8 years that we are friends.
hahaha, it feels really good to come back together and hopefully, do life together (:
i felt really bad and upset that i have been missing out too much from her life.
i pray that i can be a better friend and mend back what i have been missing out (:
i am glad that God brought such a good and close friend into my life.
sometimes, life can be hardgoing...
but friends (including my beloved Jesus) are the ones that keep you going through difficult times (:
yeah, my beloved friend.. friends for life, yo!!
i mean it okay!! xD

hah, my new caregroup structure is out.
okay... i am fine.. (:
though i don't really like it.. (to be honest)
i am even on the verge to tears when i got the news.
but yeaps, God's plan.
hais, i knew it actually.
but i have thought through it already...
i will accept this plan, as in really accept it with glad and sincere heart!! (:
but i shall not disclose why and what i have thought through...
so ask me personally if you are ~~kpo~~ interested (:
i will be more than happy to share. xD

till here, goodbye folks!! (:
it's late and i shall sleep REAL soon!!
i am seriously anticipating for that idiot to come over tomorrow morning!! (:
BUT i am anticipating, NOT for any of my activities after that idiot bid me goodbye in the afternoon ):

Monday, June 1, 2009 / 3:11 AM

THE RIGHT THING TO DO

why hold on tighly onto things that doesn't last?
why know the right thing to do and yet does nothing about it?
why risk when you know that you are bound to get hurt?

sometimes, i can't help but to feel that my heart and mind can't synchronise for nuts.