1. tings charis
2. 黄詩婷
3. 19th September 1988
4. 23 years old
5. Pre-school Teacher
6. Hope Church Singapore
7. tingscharis@gmail.com


Greetings,
ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls
tings is really very proud to have you in her humble cyber world.
before you turn the door knob and enter into her world,
you may want to take a small note on what she is going to say here...

keep your fingers to yourself, do not judge.
tings is fully aware that this ain't behind any closed door
and hence, what you read is not what she is, totally.
read and go, do not make any conclusions on your own.
mere concerns are appreciated, anything beyond that line are not welcomed.

have grace and mercy upon her
she is indeed not as good as you think.

sign off, tings charis :)




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» May 2012


© Layout: AmericanRoyalty
Color codes: xoxo
Inspirations: the chemistry skin/hm & paranoid/*éf

DEDICATED TO

YOURWILL

oh well, i decided to blog before i sleep.
i have no idea why i am so reluctant to head to my bed and end my today.
prolly i am so afraid of my tomorrow.
fearful, i really am.
many worse case scenarios breeze walked through my head.. and they freaked me off indeed =/
oh well, IN GOD I TRUST!

---

well, i watched many dramas, cause this is my favourite pastime!
but little did i expect that my life would be such drama mama too.
first, both my parents are re-married..
so i have a step mum and a step dad.
how do i feel about it?
hah, your brain will be too finite to comprehend..
now the worse nightmare has began..
my step mum is pregnant!
the baby boy will meet the world approximately january next year.
think about it, our age gap would be 22 years!
and... i actually have a 同父异母 (same father, different mother) brother!
when he is primary one, i will be 29 year old.
tell me about it, how am i suppose to feel right now?
haha, irony.. what an irony ):
my family is becoming like that... this is how selfish adults are.
not sparing a thought for their kids.
i am pointing my fingers to those parents that divorce leaving their kids in such agony.

---

after tomorrow, i will be one happy kid.
shouting hip hip hurray to the world and refuse to sleep and wake up early!
hahahaha, many exciting things awaitng at the month of september, my favourite month! <3s

---

if you guys had heard about the pathways to God...
you would roughly understand what i am going to say.
my top 2 pathways to God is activistic pathway and contemplation pathway..
it simply means that i got most connected to God when there is war to win, moutain to climb, a battle ahead!
hah, some say this is one crazy pathway.
but yeaps, it's so true..
i know i shouldn't blame on anything or anyone..
but i really need this kind of stuffs to keep myself alive.
regarding my contemplation pathway, i am always contemplating..
my role now is to feed my thoughts with God's food! <3s.
i seriously need a boost in my spiritual walk with God, for real!
to think about it, i got so close to God is usually when God throw me into an impossible mission or dying land.. hahaha maybe this is my kind of environment..
hah, provided i am keen and interested.
God, fan my passion, fan the fire in me, if not.. i am so.. dead meat.
my eyes will bling* when there's one annoying sheep or a land where everyone has given up hope on.
i love challenges! (:

---

hah, i begin to realise that...
it's a common thing for me to feel discourage and frustrated at least once a week..
when i fix my schedule with ... you.
don't know what else i can do..
and i wonder what's God's plan behind this.
but i want to give my best shot (:
use me, lord.

---

graduation soon...
what to do next?
and my 21st's coming!
i am turning into an adult soon.
haha!

hello world...
ting is fearful about her upcoming exams...
God knows why and my studying don't seem to be productive.
i just felt that everything is so screwed.
i have no money for GC, no time to study and i am very distracted.
i am having headache now, like seriously. ):

---

what can be worse than fingers (still) pointing right to your face when you are already remorsing?

1 Corinthians 14:8 (New International Version)
Again, if the trumpet does not sound a clear call, who will get ready for battle?

without vision, man will perish.

talk is cheap, actions are deep.

everyone needs capable leaders.

my directions in life.

i envy those rich kids.

i am broke, for real.

what to wear on friday?

whats the perfect and cheap place for birthday treats?

i think, i don't know how to survive for long, here.

how i wish nothing like this happened.

i really want my two sheep to be successful in life and walk closely with God.

my gum hurts again, so is my throat and head.

i wonder if i am a good shepherd, i wish i am.

i hate ants that are crawling around my house.

how awkward would it be when we see one another?

is bbq too boring for my 21st celebration?

after graduation?

i hope that the job offered is good!

i die die also must meet melody this sat, joanne next week.

sigh, i need to fight a battle, to enter into the promise land!

i wonder how is my 6 darling sheep in youth?

i wonder if i should go school tmr, why that bloody school trip mann? ):

i must do well for my exams to cover my poor attendance!

i don't really like my LG phone.

i am sleepy.

i shall blog the pictures took in cg today when melody tags me!

i wonder who are the 2 person who unfollow me on twitter.

unless the circumstances change, i don't see how i can survive.

oh mann, what do i really want?

study hard!

shall go mac early and study one day!

i think i can be better off without some people in my life.

i don't think they love me like they claimed to.

i don't trust my ex-l****rs, and i won't anymore.

i want to win at least $50 from heaven and earth!

oh i just realised that heaven and earth is under coca cola!

终级三国 (KO san guo) is so damn nice! and yongmei's addicted to it!
she always complained that she is sleepy when she talks to me or during random times.. but when it comes to this show, she refuses to sleep! so apparentely, 终级三国 is more attractive than her beautiful friend like me. T.T how sad. LOLS
(if you are interested in 三国演义 (the romanace of three kingdoms), its a good show to watch.

hmmm what else?

alright, brain's dead.

bye!

PSALM 19:8 (THE MESSAGE)
The revelation of God is whole
and pulls our lives together.
The signposts of God are clear
and point out the right road.
The life-maps of God are right,
showing the way to joy.
The directions of God are plain
and easy on the eyes.
God's reputation is twenty-four-carat gold,
with a lifetime guarantee.
The decisions of God are accurate
down to the nth degree.

there are many many things in life that we ought to have some serious thoughts over.
there are just too many strings attached and i can't be selfish to cut them off for my own good sake.
you will come to realise that there will be a point when you will get so tired of everything and surely, thats when you will find things are getting meaningless.
i often ask myself, why fight meaningless battle, why hold on to it since everything's so meaningless?
but yet the other voice of mine know that this battle ain't meaningless, it's not worthy for me to give it all up like that; yes, i will regret giving them up.

as for now, i am still in my 'wait-and-see' mode.
i anticipate life to be so much more colourful and vibrant too.

to me, there must be something in life worthy for me to fight for...
if there's no goal no nothing, it's so meaningless.
am i not right?
the battlefield i am in now is so dead.

what will happen if i tried so hard but yet there's no results?
y'know... i don't mind working hard, seriously..
but i will get tired if the other party refuses to respond...
it takes two hands to clap right?
it's like i don't mind helping people, but first thing first, that person must be willing to be helped, right?

i don't get to do what i am good at, i don't get to do what i like...
it's like there's a bottle neck.
someone or something's stuck down there and thus, potentials are all buried.
trust me, if you were to put an idiot to lead a gunius, that genius will become an idiot one day too.
if you are not an idiot, lead us to the promise land and stop burying our potentials by your limitations.
come on, we've got a brain to use.

PS: i am talking about different issues altogether, no point guessing.
HAHA.

and anwyay, my blogger's toolbar is missing again!



i love the illustration used by pastor jasmine regarding the crack vessel last saturday (:
God doesn't use perfect vessel, God wants to use crack vessel like us.
like what she said; if a lamp were to be covered by a perfect pot, the light can never shine out of the pot, however, if a lamp were to be covered by a pot full of cracks, we can see light shining through the cracks of the pot.
likewise, God's light can only shine through crack vessel like yours and mine (:
do not be discourage or do not despise yourself because you are full of cracks; hey, you are the perfect candidate for God to use in His kingdom! (:
haha, pardon me for my lousy english (:

frankly, i am kind of defeated by myself.
i am a vessel full of cracks and i am unworthy for God to use me in great measures.
i am too ashamed to ask God to use me and to lead people to christ.
but yes, this shouldn't be the way.
i want to be use greatly by God.. though i hate responsibilities and commitments.. but i want to be used by God!
i'd rather have responsibilities and commitments than not to be use by God.

i should be more faithful in spending time with my Lord and allowing Him into my life.
i should start opening the door of my heart and let Him in.
His people failed me but God hasn't.
i love you, Jesus.

God, i know i am making lot's of excuses.
but God, give me some time.
i promise you, i will put a smile onto your face, once again.
i want to please you, i want to live for you alone.
God, i miss you so much.
i want to make a difference in the community, i want to teach your word with convictions and witness life transformation through it.
God, give me the determination and courage to see this.
i know and i know.. this requires more than myself.

deny myself and carry the cross.
how hard is this to deny myself, deny what i love and the list goes on.
but God is worthy for me to deny everything...
argh, God you need to intervene in this; though i know i need to make some tough decisions.
hahaha... i am hoping for a happy ending. (:

hello world. (:
my fyp's assessement is on this coming wednesday!
oh well, i am kind of unsettled ):
anyhow, do keep me in prayer.. alright?

i went to shop for my formal wear today...
and also, a few non-formal ones too.
spent quite a lot T.T
trust me, i am so broke now.. so broke that i might eat air for the rest of august ):
i played "fashion show" at home with my new clothes and i think i don't look good in formal wear.
hahahaha.
not only this coming wednesday i gotta wear it, i have to wear formal for one of my modules next semester.
maybe because i look fat and short..thats why ):
booo hoooo hooooo.

---

oh well, i don't know what to do with that thing.
i shall chuck it aside and remain status quo; though i am really puzzled.

today, this time right now...
i should be heading my way to town already.
but i received my beloved melody's text saying her rehearsal will end damn late so she can't meet me anymore just right before i step my feet out of my house's door, already with my sandals on.
hahahaa.
i thank God that i didnt receive the text when i am already travelling, hah did i mentioned that i woke up late??
hahahahaa, so it could be a blessing to overslept a little at times. (:

anyhow, i didnt have a good day yesterday.
as much as my arrows are all pointing outwards, i know i should take responsibility as well.
frankly, i have come to a point where by almost everything has went beyond my limit.
i can snap anytime, like seriously.
self control, my darling.
i think.. i am doing this quite well now. (:

as i was bathing yesterday; thinking about how cui everything is right now..
i felt that this is enough.
instead of sitting down and point fingers and being the critical me, i will end up judging and be unhappy.
whats the point mann?
so i have decided, i will be the change agent instead!
since i am unhappy, why not i change the situation around me??
but still, i can't do this alone.
hahaha.

oh well,i will do my best.
do my best in changing this cui environment to a better one.
before my heart turns really cold, i have deicded to be strong and try again.
God, help me.