my ♥ your home :)
1. tings charis
2. 黄詩婷
3. 19th September 1988
4. 23 years old
5. Pre-school Teacher
6. Hope Church Singapore
7. tingscharis@gmail.com
before you turn the door knob...
Greetings,
ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls
tings is really very proud to have you in her humble cyber world.
before you turn the door knob and enter into her world,
you may want to take a small note on what she is going to say here...
keep your fingers to yourself, do not judge.
tings is fully aware that this ain't behind any closed door
and hence, what you read is not what she is, totally.
read and go, do not make any conclusions on your own.
mere concerns are appreciated, anything beyond that line are not welcomed.
have grace and mercy upon her
she is indeed not as good as you think.
sign off, tings charis :)
Friday, May 8, 2009 / 3:43 PM
SO TOTALLY...there are many times in life that i will fall into self pity unknowingly...
but after awhile, i will wake up from my pity party world.
however, there is one thing that i still feel sorry for myself.
hah, that's none other than my family issue.
it has been for so long, of course.. the wounds weren't as raw as before.
i still feel sorry for myself in a way that, i still feel that it's unfair and stuffs.
not really emotional about it anymore... or rather, less emotional about it. (:
the bad news is...
there's a new thing that made me self pity again.
all i know is i am in pain, a deep shit pain.
felt accused and a loser.
and not understood.
and this time, i have no idea if this pity party thing is a "logical" one like my family issue or it's just exactly the same as those i have awaken from?
if this is so, i pray that God will once again bring me out from this pity party game...
hey, it's no fun at all.
like, so totally.
because it makes me feel really lousy about myself and also, lousy about people.
i believe God has his plans for whatever happens to me.
and believe it or not, i know He has his best interest for me.
i prefer to have it His way and i will try to have it His way too. (:
there are times that i wished myself to just vanish from the world.
i don't feel valued from the ones i once felt valued anymore.
i once felt that i am such an extra in this world.
because my parents told me that they don't plan for my birth, my mummy said that my birth is to torture her etc...
not anymore now cause i trust in God and because i have God.
but there are times where the people around you makes you feel this way and it seem that i have no control over the thought of being worthless and the desire of wanting to vanish.
maybe it's time where i have to be so naked before God, allowing Him to pour His unfailing love right into my heart and get myself refreshed in His love, once again (:
rahh, game over, pity party.
will you?
it suck, like.. so totally.