LET ME LEAN ON YOU (:
Thursday, July 16, 2009 / 1:21 AM
my mouth has been giving me loads of uncomfort recently.
first, i
have to remove my wisdom tooth.
trust me, if i were to give you one wisest advice,
do not remove your wisdom tooth if there is not a need to!oh crap, the pain that you have to go through is more than what you can imagine..
what about the pain from the cut of four sides of your gums, what about the swollened face and etc?
hohoho.
second, my left side of my chin lost it's senses! (again, all thanks to the extraction of wisdom tooth)
third, after sometime... my upper left gum experienced unbearable pain..
the people around me can witness that.. and till now.. God knows what the hell is going on with my that side of the gum.
forth, my gums bleed more and more frequently now, for no reasons.
last but not the least.. from the picture below...
the part where it says "tonsil" is damn painful.
it's red, swollen and it has an ulcer on it!
ouch.. it would be such a pain when you have ulcer on your gum.. not to mention to have it in such strategic place like the tonsils?
it affects me alot ): (eat, speak, drink and everything!)
GOD, heal me.. will you?
---
enough of my mouth..
let's talk about something else...
y'know that when you do things based on your very own strength, you'll experience a burned out?
that's where unbearable stress and frequent thoughts of rising the white flag come at your door knocking.
as for me, it's all small matters that i am experiencing now...
but it's just that i am kind of fed up and having the urge to hide in my own turtle shell and not face the world.
but definitely, i'll not do that. (:
i think it's just a frustration and draining thing when you have to always accommodate to someone elses; y'know it would be a so total different story if both parties compromised.
it's also a waery thing that when you realised you're the only one giving ; in another word, give without having any reciprocal responses.
i guess, that's because i haven been relying on God's strength.
and yupp, this is my application for the rest of my life.
it's easy to just let it slip off my mind, but i pray that God will always be there to nudge me with a gentle reminder when i need it, yo! (:
not only strength, nuggets of wisdom is what i need most now, too.
---
i am really convicted about one should be responsible of his/her own life!
even to the extent that i am so damn angry about it.
hahaha.
holy anger, i supposed xD
look, i have already given more than what i can afford to; trying to accommodate with your WANTS.
but enough is enough, this is not your playground.
you come to serve, not to be served, darling.
i cannot stand it when people are taking God's people for granted.
they expect the church to be exciting and suiting their wants and needs but yet they do nothing about it.
sitting down and warm their ass on the seats, pointing fingers at how sucky the system and people are and yet, doing nothing about it.
giving negative comments and tearing people down in speech, yet have no freaking intention to help them improve.
okay.. so what now?
hey people, you are so going to be responsible over your life, especially your eternal life.
hello, to grow or not to grow, it's your decision!!
there is nothing to do with anyone else. (yes, we do play an important role, but when we played our role to our best, will you respond and appreciate it?)
i don't see why we should beg people, hey there... what do we have to gain?
all these we are doing for YOUR PRECIOUS ETERNAL LIFE!
if you are not serious about your relationship or commitment to God, den you simply ain't serious about your very own eternal life.
i am so freaking tired to keep begging people, trying to accommodate to what thety expects, crack my brain and stressed up over someone that is not even serious about their eternal lives.
hey look, its another different story again if that person is genuine about it; i will be more than willing to give everything to see them grow, but sadly, this ain't the case YET.
get this right, this is not an excuse for us to slack and not to make effort to connect the new believers.
i am referring to those freaking people who are in church for god damn long, listen and experienced God and knows the values and yet choose to take everything for granted.
got it?
hey this is your life.i am responsible in guiding you, create a better environment for you to grow, to do my best for you, to pray for you and many more.
but i am NEVER responsible for your eternal life.
come on, grow up and treasure what is important.
nothing else can last in the world, who gives a damn if you are popular among people or not.
they cant be always there for you, or can they even meet your inmost needs and can they give you your eternal life?
be mature and come to understand that only God will be loyal to you FOREVER and you need only God!
i am so totally cannot tolerate people who takes the church and God himself for granted ):
okay, i am fully aware that i ain't perfect either.
infact, i am like the greatest sinner of all.
but darlings, don't take all these that are given to you with grace for granted okay.
Jesus bought the church with His blood, this is something you can't play or fool around with.
be serious, especially when it comes to God.
---
i am sorry if i am being overly direct here.
it's getting late now.
good night world! xD
1. tings charis