tings charriissa ♥

BELONGING, NOT.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009 / 2:25 AM

i was just blogging about freedom and restrictions last night...
just when i shut my lappy down and preparing myself to bed, i thought of freedom do brings about restriction but on the other hand, restriction brings freedom too.
it's like a contradiction but it's very true.
sometimes restrictions are good.
because of certain restrictions, you are free from many uninvited troubles.

nobody wants to be uncared of.
human beings are seriously a very contradicting living organism on earth.
say for example..
we hated our parent's restrictions but when they choose not to bother about us anymore, we complain and feel upset that they doesn't care anymore.
so what exactly we want?

when people restricts us for good intention, this is love and care.
unless the restrictions are for self gain and selfish reasons, these are seriously bad.
i hate restrictions, but i love the intention of it.
get my idea?
i didn't think this much yesterday because my mind is over crowed by the agony of being so restricted.
but when i have thought through and appreciate restrictions, it's too late.
i was so blessed with someone wanting to protect me, wanting to restrict me so that i will be safe...
i knew it was a blessing all along..
but before i could voice my happiness about it, i received a bad news that the doors of such blessings has been shut off.
it feels like my heart ain't beating anymore.

it's sucky to know that the one you want to be cared of doesn't wants to restrict you anymore.
as much as i desire care and concern from the people around me, the one i desire most is from you...
how would i want it when you are leaving me alone to make decisions, to do whatever i like?
as much as i hate restrictions, i want you to restrict me because i want you to care for me.

---

she used to be belong to somewhere.
she ran away from that somewhere because she found a new owner.
her new owner loves her and she feel really comfortable and herself with her new owner...
she felt really guilty and bad towards the one who used to own her...
but she choose to deny everything and stick with her new owner...
today, her new owner told her that he came to his senses and realise that she doesnt belong to him.
maybe he is too afraid to own her, or maybe he is too tired to own her..
instantly, she was so lost..
she has forsaken her old owner and now her new owner has forsaken her.
so where does she belongs to now?
she is too ashame to return to her old owner, neither to her new owner.
she was being given up, she was dumped.
she has no where to go, no where to lean, no where she can be to feel belong.
her new owner was her everything, but her everything doesn't own her anymore.
she has lost her everything, both the new and the old world...
and she doesn't know how to move on.
she wants to go home, to a home where she's welcomed.

she wet her sleeve on the bus ride...
she wet her pillow on her bed.
but yet cant find the one who can dry her tears.
why live in such a world where she doesn't belongs to?
why struggle when there's no one to save her at the end of the tunnel?
why breath when no one appreciate her presence?
why stay when she's not welcome?
why cling when she's dump and given up on?
why?

---

The Parable of the Lost Son

Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons.

The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.

"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.

After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.

So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs.

He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!

I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.

I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.'

So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.

"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.

Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate.

For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing.

So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on.

'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'

"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him.

But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.

But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.

But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

---

When God Ran

Almighty God, 
The Great I Am 
Immoveable Rock, 
Omnipotent powerful 

Awesome Lord, 
Victorious Warrior 
Commanding King of Kings 
Mighty Conquerer, 

And the only time, 
the only time I ever saw Him run 
Was when 

He ran to me, 
Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest 
And said "My son's come home again". 
Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes 
With forgiveness in His voice 
He said "Son, do you know I still love you?" 

It caught me by surprise when God ran 

The day I left Home, 
I knew I'd broken His heart 
I wondered if 
Things could ever be the same, 

Then one night, 
I remembered His love for me 
And down that dusty road, ahead I could see 
It's the only time, 
the only time I ever saw Him run 

Was when He ran to me, 
Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest 
And said "My son's come home again". 
Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes 
With forgiveness in His voice 
He said "Son, do you know I still love you?" 

It caught me by surprise, He brought me to my knees 
When God ran 
I saw Him run to me
And then I ran to Him

Holy God, Righteous One 
Who turned my way 
Now I know, He's been waiting 
For this day 

And then He ran to me, 
Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest 
And said "My son's come home again". 
Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes 
With forgiveness in His voice 
I felt His love for me again  

He ran to me, 
Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest 
And said "My son's come home again". 
Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes 
With forgiveness in His voice 
He said Son, He said Son, My Son!
Do you know I still love you
oohhh...He ran to me
When God ran