MISS NG SHI TING OR SOME SAY, PRINCESS TING =D
Friday, October 30, 2009 / 2:55 AM
i have a friend.
some call her tingting, the closer ones, tings.
for the not so close ones, shi ting and for those who are smart, princess ting.
HAHA.
allow me to introduce my precious friend to you.
will you be interested to read on?
she button her lips up because she doesn't know how to express in order to be fully understood.
when she spoke her heart, she would be hurt when she realised that no one could comprehend.
and thus, as time goes by... she would rather keep the pains to herself to prevent further hurts when no one seem to be in the same frequency as herself.
she hides and wore a mask not because she fear judgement or giving a damn at how people view her.
but rather, she wants to avoid uninvited attention to herself.
she felt really uncomfortable with many pretending to care when they couldn't even tune their heartbeat with her's.
until she is confident that you really does care and you promise not to ask more than enough questions, she will remove her mask and show herself to you.
she smiles even when her heart is bleeding because she's afraid of people asking how is she really.
this is simply because she will never know the answer at all.
she would love to be heard, to express and to be cared and comforted.
but somehow or rather, comforts from random people makes her feel really awkward.
she seem to be a different person in blog not because she is acting to be emo.
she just want to express herself through words, since she suffer badly from being tongue tied.
but she will try to be really positive in her mind! (:
she does talk to people about herself..
she does randomly tell people about how she's feeling...
she expressed her anger, her happiness, her disappointments and all her emotions.
but she is ashame to say that... no one other than God has fully heard her complete version of everything.
she is sorry to say that what you guys heard are just the mere 10% of everything.
and guess what, if she is able to share something, she is usually not THAT / VERY affected actually... just a little, maybe?
what's really affecting her, she doesnt share.. at all or once again, just a little.. maybe?
not that she doesnt trust..
but she thinks that it's a kind of freedom for herself not to reveal too much.
if she reveals too much, many eyes will be set on her.. this is what she hates.
"ting, are you feeling better? are you okay?" yada yada..
expect to hear "yeah i am okay" from her.. because she wants to avoid trouble to explain why is she not or to surprise you that she took such a long time to be healed.
there are people whom she really wants to pour everything to.
there are people whom she wants to tell them.. "hey i am not okay, i am feeling horrible now..."
she wants to share her story in full version to someone, if not she will die of being too oppressed.
no one, no one knows what exactly happen...
why she blogged certain stuffs, why is she so emo.. why she ended up in where she is now..
do you know what has happened to her?
she fear that when she shared...
people would be disappointed..
she was so afraid to hurt people or to stumble people.
she has no idea what to do to save the poor souls from being upset but yet being able to express fully.
she somehow felt that people are expecting much from her.
wondering why i am blogging this for my friend today?
because she has been thinking through and she told me that she has decided to share her story to one or two person...
this is so that she will not be this depressed.
she need some time to do so though..
but she doesn't know who to choose, who would be the one knowing everything and yet wouldn't counsel her and giving her advices that she doesnt need.
just listen and trust that she knows what to do, understand that she did think hard and not just being rash...
trust that she knows, she knows and she knows.
she just needs to be heard and to be understood. (:
she has learnt her lesson..
she told one retarded person her story and ended up being counseled, and guess what?
she was destroyed after all the counselling sessions.
even till now, she couldnt pick herself up; especially seeing faces of disappointments after she shared her story and telling them her honest decision.
now can you understand why is she so fearful already?
if she were to entrust herself to you, can you promise me that you would handle her with extra care?
would you promise me that when she sits in front of you, view her as a very normal person and not to be disappointed when you realised that she is not as good as you think?
would you promise that you will really care and try your best to understand and not just being a busy body that wants to know more for the sake of satisfying your curiosity about her?
okays, this is my friend, ting.
hope you will know her better after reading this.
don't be afraid to ask her how is she or whatever after this post, because this is not the purpose of it.
continue to be yourself, treat her normally and she would gladly appreciate it (:
just remember, she ain't wonder woman...
she is just as ordinary as you do.
1. tings charis