I CAN'T KEEP THIS ANY LONGER.
Monday, October 11, 2010 / 1:10 AM
from insignificant to significant.
from significant to mean the world to me.
from mean the world to me back to significant.
from significant back to insignificant again.
how hard is this.
i am missing someone badly.
but this is not an unfamiliar feeling anyway.
however, there is a great difference in this whole thing...
the difference is, i will allow this to remain status quo.
nah, i am not doing anything about it nor i am going to make any move.
believe it or not, i would rather and prefer it to be the way it is now.
sigh... i do not like the way i feel now, like seriously.
even if it will take forever, so be it.
i have come to a point that i am perfectly fine with whatever that's on my plate now, or rather, with whatever that is missing from my plate now. :)
don't you agree that life is full with ironic things?
like people who matters damn a lot to you might be someone you have the least contact with.
the one whom i used to deem as my world is the one that i cant wait to get rid of from my world.
the one that i couldnt live without is the one that i want to live without now.
the one that i thought would be my best moral / emotional support is the one that wreck me emotionally and mentally.
the one who is the closest to me is now the farthest
and the one whom i am the most comfortable with is the one that i fear most now.
hah, but seriously, life ain't sexy like that.
nonetheless, no matter how happy or positive it might turn out in future...
i will still cross my arms and will not welcome this back to my life again.
i mean it, folks.
anyway, my life has been really packed recently.
correction, not only recently but it is going to be very pack for yearssss....
hahahaha.
i feel fatigue and finding myself dozing off more and more often.
i hate assignments and i am feeling kinda stressed up :(
sighh, i really miss staying at home and doing my own things...
relaxing, watching dramas blah blah blah.
i am very busy and i don't even have time to breathe!
time is passing so fast that i find myself having difficulties to catch up.
haha, but with such busy lifestyle...
i find my life kind of fulfilling :)
and to top it up... i have wonderful people in my life to make it more fulfilling :)
i have my a decade long bestie...
i have my beloved ggf!
i have my wonderful colleagues cum friends that i had tons of fun with at the universal studio, watched lame movie like buried together, will be going bali with and will be hanging out more often and of cos, working 5 days a week together...!! as for my pooheeeey, we will work 5 days a week tgt, go sch 3 days a week and plus all those mentioned above ^^
i have my friends outside...
i have my church family...
i have my childhood friends like joyce and jerel...
impt pple like zk, david, my ex rp cg, my ex sheep and blah blah blah!!!
i promised myself to commit my weekends in meeting people like them even if i am damn busy.
its just that have to slowly rotate for quite some time :(
i wish i have all the time in the world to meet them and spend more time with them!
thank you friends for loving me though i am unlovable...
God is good to me, isnt it? :)
1. tings charis